In the image I have the letters "dg" highlighted in VSCode. VSCode then higlights the rest of string with a ever-so-slightly lighter color.
This is driving me insane. It's really hard to tell what I actually have selected when it does this.
What is the variable I need to change in the theme to fix this? Or is this even fixable? I can't find a particular attribute to adjust that changes that weird 'slightly lighter than the color you are using to highlight color.'
I've tried editor.selectionBackground and editor.selectionHighlightBackground but neither appear to address the issue.
I'd be happy if I could even just add a border to my selected text, but I can't find a variable for that either (Though there appears to be a border option for 'higlighting similar items'.)

I think you are looking for this
Theme Color:It is highlighting the
wordaround the cursor/selection. That being thewordas defined by your language server.I set it to be transparent in the above
colorCustomizationby giving it the 4th hex value for opacity.See VS Code Theme Color reference.